The Heart Is a Complex Thing

Expected Publication:  April 21st, 2015

Things We Know By Heart

By: Jessi Kirby

Harper Teen

ISBN-13:  9780062299437

When Quinn Sullivan meets the recipient of her boyfriend's donated heart, the two form an unexpected connection.

After Quinn loses her boyfriend, Trent, in an accident their junior year, she reaches out to the recipients of his donated organs in hopes of picking up the pieces of her now-unrecognizable life.  She hears back from some of them, but the person who received Trent's heart has remained silent.  The essence of a person, she has always believed, is in the heart.  If she finds Trent's, then maybe she can have peace once and for all.

Risking everything in order to finally lay her memories to rest, Quinn goes outside the system to track down nineteen-year-old Colton Thomas -- a guy whose life has forever been changed by this priceless gift.  But what starts as an accidental run-in quickly develops into more, sparking an undeniable attraction.  She doesn't want to give in to it -- especially since he has no idea how they're connected -- but their time together has made Quinn feel alive again.  No matter how hard she's falling for Colton, each beat of his heart reminds her of all she's lost...and all that remains at stake.

Review

       I am always on the lookout for books with unique premises.  That said, though this one sounded a bit like a Lurlene McDaniel story, I'd previously read a book by Kirby that I liked well enough.  So I decided to take a chance on this one and try it out.  Let's just say I wasn't particularly impressed.  Quinn is so broken up over Trent's death, that she decides to meet with the people that received his organs after the accident.  The boy who got the heart doesn't reply, so Quinn does what she can to find him so they can meet.  Only, she doesn't tell him about their connection to each other through her dead boyfriend's heart -- and a relationship is built, based on lies of omission.  I wanted something else when I decided to read this book.  I wanted a story about someone struggling with grief and learning to love again.  I didn't really want a love story with the grief as a side order.

       Mostly, it comes down to the fact that this book was bland for me.  I was not surprised by a single, solitary thing that happened to these characters.  Also, as sweet as the romance between Colton and Quinn was, and as much as I liked Colton, I really wasn't so hot on Quinn.  I understand that she was grieving, not necessarily thinking things through.  But just because she was dating Trent and the heart USED to be his, didn't give her the right to find Colton when he didn't respond to her letter.  I honestly find that kind of creepy, truth be told.  What entitles her to find him and build a relationship with him, based on something he has no knowledge of?  I guess the difference between adult me and teenage me, is that I no longer find that kind of thing even remotely romantic (yet another reason that movie Return to Me is bizarre).  

       As someone who is a registered organ donor, I wouldn't want my loved ones harrassing the people who gets pieces of me to help them live their lives.  My heart is just a heart; my soul is what they love and that will be long gone.  Overall, this story was okay, Quinn's family was wonderful and the romance was sweet.  But the cliche, predictable plot and underlying aspect of creepiness was too much for me to truly enjoy it.

VERDICT:  2/5 Stars

**I reviewed this book as part of Around the World ARC Tours, run by the lovely Princess Bookie.  No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book's expected publication date is April 21st, 2015.**

Reflections of a Small Town Family

Published:  September 1st, 1991

What's Eating Gilbert Grape

By: Peter Hedges

Simon & Schuster

ISBN-13:  9780671038540

Just about everything in Endora, Iowa (pop. 1, 091 and dwindling) is eating Gilbert Grape, a twenty-four-year-old grocery clerk who dreams only of leaving.  His enormous mother, once the town sweetheart, has been eating nonstop ever since her husband's suicide, and the floor beneath her T.V. chair is threatening to cave in.  Gilbert's long-suffering older sister, Amy, still mourns the death of Elvis, and his knockout younger sister has become hooked on makeup, boys, and Jesus -- in that order.

But the biggest event on the horizon for all the Grapes is the eighteenth birthday of Gilbert's younger brother, Arnie, who is a living miracle just for having survived so long.  As the Grapes gather in Endora, a mysterious beauty glides through town on a bicycle and rides circles around Gilbert, until he begins to see a new vision of his family and himself...

Review

       I did not even know this was a book until I ran across it by chance on Goodreads, on some list or another.  If you don't like personal reviews, abandon ship now because this shit's about to get real up-close-and-personal -- because this book was super-personal and self-revelatory for me as a human being.  That doesn't mean I will necessarily be gushing about it to everyone who asks for book recommendations, because I think this is a book that not everyone will understand.  Thank you Peter Hedges, you freaking bastard, for that unwanted look in the mirror.  I have a confession to make: I am Gilbert Grape.  We might not have the same name, live in exactly the same circumstances, or feel exactly the same about everything, but we are the same person where it counts the most.  We are the one who stays, the one who takes care of everyone else.  

       Gilbert Grape is someone who has gotten sucked into being the breadwinner and pretty much SOLE provider for his family, whom he both loves and hates at the same time.  He lives with his mother Bonnie Grape who is so obsese that the floor is caving in under her, his sister Amy who is selfless and good (and who deserves better than wasting her youth being mother to her siblings), his younger sister Ellen who is a pretentious brat (verging on slut at times) and his brother Arnie, who is mentally handicapped, never seeming older than five or six years old mentally.  Gilbert works at the local grocery store, that is slowly going under due to the new superstore in town.  He's worked for the owner Mr. Lamson for seven years, and believes in loyalty to the man (and the business) who has been a father figure/oasis for him in the midst of his family issues.  Also, Gilbert has been in a sexual affair with Betty Carver, the insurance man's wife, for about the same amount of time.  He feels trapped in by his family, his dumb-ass friend Tucker, his job, and Endora in general.  

       Things are building up and feelings are coming to head, as Arnie's thought-to-be-impossible eighteenth birthday draws nearer and the rest of the Grape siblings make their way home.  The Girl from Michigan also shakes things up for Gilbert, making him think of his life in new ways, even if they're not always pleasant or easy.  Can the Grapes begin to let go of past hurts and move on, or will they continue to stagnate, with Gilbert "shrinking," as Arnie puts it?  This was uncomfortable to the max.  I saw myself at the age I am now (24) working a dead end retail job, supporting my family because no one else can/will.  I am also not perfect.  In the moments Gilbert calls his brother a "retard" I see myself with my mentally ill mother, and I'm ashamed.  Not to say that I'm a monster, but I lose my temper too.  I am "shrinking," letting things go unsaid and being everything for everyone.  I also see myself in Momma & Amy, eating all of my feelings and multiplying in size.  But this novel is also hopeful, because as the ending tells us, nothing lasts forever.  Things, people and hardships cycle in and out of life.  A beautifully harsh portrait of the American Dream dying in the Midwest, only to be partially re-invented by the time the book ends.  A story that'll stay with me, but I don't see myself revisiting it often.  Highly recommended if you're brave and daring.

VERDICT:  4/5  Stars

*No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book is now available in stores, online, or maybe even at your local library.*

Favorite Quotes

"I'm told women scream when they give birth because of the intense pain.  And I think about how easily life can slide away, like thawing ice.  And how it's only the living that scream."

"You can tell the idyllic nature of a family by the upkeep of its picnic table.  Ours is its own indictment.  We are splintering and peeling.  We rot."

I Walked With You, Once Upon a Dream

Expected Publication:  February 24th, 2015

A Wicked Thing

By: Rhiannon Thomas

HarperTeen

ISBN-13:  9780062303530

One hundred years after falling asleep, Princess Aurora wakes up to the kiss of a handsome prince and a broken kingdom that has been dreaming of her return.  All the books say she should be living happily ever after.  But as Aurora understands all too well, the truth is nothing like the fairy tale.

Her family is long dead.  Her "true love" is a kind stranger.  And her whole life has been planned out by political foes while she slept.

As Aurora struggles to make sense of her new world, she begins to fear that the curse has left its mark on her, a fiery and dangerous thing that might be as wicked as the witch who once ensnared her.  With her wedding day drawing near, Aurora must make the ultimate decision on how to save her kingdom: marry the prince or run.

Review

       This book was a bit of an oddball in terms of fairy tale retellings.  We all know the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty, who was awakened by true love's kiss and lived happily ever after.  In reality, Aurora woke up confused and frightened, with everyone she ever knew long dead and buried.  Now she's expected to marry a young Prince that she doesn't even know (just because he woker her up) and be a pawn in the political games of the people sitting on what used to be her parents' thrones.  Can Aurora manage to stay alive and get her happy ending?  Or will her whole world go up in flames before all is said and done?  I didn't mind that she was weak, confused and frightened at first.  It made absolute sense and was really realistic, in terms of how someone would really feel waking up 100 years after being put in a cursed sleep!  I felt almost as bad for Prince Rodric as I did for Aurora, being used as a pawn by his father, a cruel King, who wants to stay in power even with Aurora awake and able to rule her kingdom.  I liked that everything was in shades of gray.  Practically every character was morally ambiguous and this was really a story without heroes/heroines.  It was dark in a way that rang true.

       That said, it also felt like nothing happened till the very end of the book.  Now knowing that it's a planned trilogy (didn't know that, or I wouldn't have bothered reading it), it makes more sense to me.  This book was the build-up, the bare bones of a story that will (maybe) be fleshed out into something solid in the next two books.  But reading it while thinking it was a stand alone, it definitely fell short.  It was basically just a bunch of asshole-ish royalty (and some rebels) entertaining/threatening/messing with each other, until it turned to bloodshed and a "climax" to the action.  I did like that Aurora had a strength she wasn't aware of and the ongoing situation with the sorceress Celestine was intriguing (if bare bones, like everything and everyone else).  Probably my least favorite thing about this novel was the way it dragged on and on.  If it hadn't been written in such an easy-to-read way, I definitely would have quit it long before the ending.  Also, three possible love interest?  A love triangle isn't enough, now it has to be a LOVE SQUARE???!!!  At least the romance was basically non-existent - yet another of the few things saving this book for me.  Overall, not the worst thing I ever read, but also far off from the best.  I won't be bothering with the sequel.  To be frank the thought of reading it bores me.

VERDICT:  2/5  Stars

*I  received this book from HarperTeen, on Edelweiss.  No favors or money were exchanged for this review.  This book was published on February 24th, 2015.*

In the Still of the Night

Expected Publication: March 3rd, 2015

My Best Everything

By: Sarah Tromp

Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

ISBN-13:  9780316324786

You say it was all meant to be.  You and me.  The way we met.  Our secrets in the woods.  Even the way it all exploded.  It was simply a matter of fate.

Maybe if you were here to tell me again, to explain it all one more time, then maybe I wouldn't feel so uncertain.  But I'm going back to the beginning on my own.  To see what happened and why.

Luisa "Lulu" Mendez has just finished her final year of high school in a small Virginia town, determined to move on and leave her job at the local junkyard behind.  So when her father loses her college tuition money, Lulu needs a new ticket out.

Desperate for funds, she cooks up the (definitely illegal) to make and sell moonshine with her friends, Roni and Bucky.  Quickly realizing they're out of their depth, Lulu turns to Mason: a local boy who's always seemed like a dead end.  As Mason guides Lulu through the secret world of moonshine, it looks like her plan might actually work.  But can she leave town before she loses everything - including her heart?

Review

     Lulu Mendez has always counted on the fact that her parents would pay for her college tuition.  So when after graduation she finds out that her Dad has made a risky investment and lost the money they would have used for her tuition, Lulu is desparate for a way to make money and finally get out of town.  When an unused copper still for making moonshine comes into the junkyard where she and her friend Roni work, to be left there in storage, it feels like a sign.  Lulu convinces Roni and Roni's boyfriend Bucky to give making and selling moonshine a try.  In the backwoods of Virginia, it seems like a sure bet to make some easy, fast money - illegal or not.  Not knowing where to even start, Lulu convinces Mason, a mysterious local boy from a notorious bootlegging family, to help them with the intital setup and process.  But the more time Lulu spends with Mason, the closer they get to falling completely in love with each other.  Can Lulu get out of town as planned and if she does, will her heart still be intact?

     So, this book is written as a letter from Lulu to Mason, after everything has already happened.  I spent the whole book wondering if she was writing to him from college, if he was the one who had left town, or if Mason had died.  One of the three is correct, but I'm not going to tell you which one it was.  Suffice it to say, I didn't quite know what to expect from a book whose whole premise is about making illegal liquor to fund a college education!  Lulu doesn't have the best life, with an agoraphobic mother who can't even go on the front porch anymore and a father who is never home.  Not to mention, no one seems to understand her need to leave town and go to college.  Her best friend Roni just wants to get married to her high school boyfriend Bucky.  In the first scene of this book, a drunk Lulu meets up with Mason and pukes in his motorcycle helmet and he gives her a ride home.  Not exactly love at first sight.  This book definitely represents the fact that Mason has been raised to live, breathe, and love the business of moonshine.  The fact of his love/hate relationship with alcohol was a really realistic portrayal and I enjoyed that the author didn't take the easy road out.  I don't want to say much more, because this book doesn't come out for another seven months.  I will say I was practically crying by the end and this book is definitely a highly emotional coming-of-age, first romance story.  And a unique one at that.

VERDICT:  4/5  Stars

*I received this book as part of Around the World ARC Tours, run by the lovely Princess Bookie.  No favors or money were exchanged for this review.  This book's expected publication date is March 3rd, 2015.*

The Giver, or Another Foray Into Newbery Land

 

Published:  January 24th, 2006 (First published 1993)

The Giver (The Giver Quartet #1)

By: Lois Lowry

Ember

ISBN-13:  9780385732550

 

Jonas' world is perfect.  Everything is under control.  There is no war or fear or pain.  There are no choices.  Every person is assigned a role in the Community.  When Jonas turns twelve, he is singled out to receive special training from The Giver.  The Giver alone holds the memories of the true pain and pleasure of life.  Now, it is time for Jonas to receive the truth.  There is no turning back.

 

Review

 

     In the Community where Jonas lives, everyone has a routine.  Jobs, spouses and children are selected by qualified officials.  Emotions are discusses and analyzed, colors are non-existent and pills are taken to halt the "Stirrings" from taking hold.  Everything is controlled, peaceful, uniform and all people are treated the same.  When you become of a certain age you join the House of Old and are released as a "reward."  Jonas thinks that his society is the perfect place to live.  Then he goes through the ceremony of the twelves to get his life assignment.  Jonas is given an unusual task that he has never heard of before.  He's apprenticed to a man called The Giver and becomes The Receiver.  He is to take on all of the memories, emotions and experiences of what life used to be like, without total control.  Jonas begins to question the way the Community is run and his place in it's mindless conformity.  When Gabriel, an underdeveloped infant that has been staying with Jonas' family, is at risk due to the Community's rules, it's up to Jonas to make a decision.  Will he follow the community or give in to the lessons he's learned from the things he's taken from The Giver?

     I have read this book at least six or seven times, the first being around 2001 or 2002, when my sixth or seventh grade English teacher assigned it to my class.  I remember being shocked by the ideas and terrifying realities presented in this book.  A place that is controlled by the government, doesn't allow for any individuality, and has no romance or family bonding - a place with no color or emotion AT ALL!!!  It blew my pre-teen mind to imagine such a horrifying thing.  I definitely identified with Jonas, questioning the world around himself and trying to make life-changing decisions (mostly between action and in-action).  In light of the movie being released next month, I decided to re-read it again and see how well it held up after a decade of being in my thoughts.

     This novel is definitely more one of introspection than action.  The climax near the end of the story when Jonas *SPOILER* takes baby Gabriel and leaves *END SPOILER* is definitely the most actiony part of this book.  The majority of this book is Jonas' journey from conformity and belonging, to being on the outside of the Community and becoming isolated when his reality shifts.  By gaining the things that everyone else he knows have lost (color, emotion, individualistic though, etc.), Jonas becomes an unlikely rebel.  "Sameness" is a concept he no longer embraces and finds to be pretty horrifying.  Probably the most conflict in this book is caused by the concept of "release" for people who don't (or can't) conform for some reason, or are just too old to be of use to society.  This is what really causes Jonas to take action.  It really makes you wonder just what it would take to push our own world over the edge, into a false utopia.  A chilling, but ultimately hopeful portrayal of a world ruled by the loss of everything real.  I highly recommend this book (it won a Newbery Award for a reason!) as an introduction to the loosely defined "dystopian" genre.  It definitely makes you think.

 

VERDICT:  5/5 Stars

 

**No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book is now available in stores, online, or maybe even at your local library.**

Hold My Hand

Expected Publication:  July 1st, 2014

Copper Magic

By: Julia Mary Gibson

Starscape/Tor

ISBN-13:  9780765332110

Can an unearthed talisman found on the shores of Lake Michigan save 12-year-old Violet's fractured family?  Exploring themes of Native American culture, ecology, and conservation, this historical fiction novel comes brilliantly to life.

The year is 1906, and twelve-year-old Violet Blake unearths an ancient talisman --a copper hand-- beside the stream where her mother used to harvest medicine.  Violet's touch warms the copper hand and it begins to reveal glimpses of another time.  Violet is certain that the copper hand is magic -- and if anyone is in need of its powers, it's Violet.  Her mother and adored baby brother are gone, perhaps never to return.  Her heartbroken father can't seem to sustain the failing farm on the outskirts of Pigeon Harbor, on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Surely the magic of the copper hand can make things right for Violet and restore her fractured family.  Violet makes a wish.  But her ignorant carelessness unleashes formiddable powers -- and her attempts to control them jeopardizes not only herself, but the entire town of Pigeon Harbor.

In Copper Magic, land and waters are alive with memories, intentions, and impulses.  Magic alters Violet and brings her gifts -- but not always the kind she thinks she needs.  First-time author Julia May Gibson brings Violet and her community to life in this impressive and assured debut.

Review

     Violet Blake has been living with just her father on their farm for months now, ever since her mother took her baby brother Francis (aka Fry) and left.  Violet doesn't know why she left, when she's coming back and is actually starting to believe that both her Mom and her brother are actually dead.  Twelve year old Violet is stuck between a child and a teenager, outgrowing her shabby clothes and trying to stay a kid, but being forced into responsibility be her meddling Aunt.  The property down by the lake has been "bought" by church people, who are setting up camp for the summer.  Violet makes friends with a preacher's kid and one day by the lake she finds a copper hand, that she thinks is magical.  Maybe the hand can bring back her family and put her life back to normal.  But when the copper hand unleashes powers that Violet can't control and that could cause a lot of harm, and it is taken away by priveleged people who don't understand it, it's up to Violet to save the hand and return it to where it belongs before it's too late.

     The main draw for me was the fact that this book is set in Michigan, near Lake Michigan.  It also didn't hurt that this was a historical fiction book set in my home state.  I love me some decent historical fiction.  The tone was very reminiscent of To Kill a Mockingbird, but without the stately wisdom that seems to assert itself in that novel (even with the main characters being children).  Violet Blake is our protagonist in this one, and while I get that kids were a hell of a lot more innocent/naieve/less jaded in the early 1900s for the most part, I just did NOT feel like I was reading something from the point of view of a twelve year old.  I honestly couldn't think of Violet as any older than nine or so years old.  Especially since most of this book centers around her unwavering belief in the magical powers of a hand made out of copper!

      Probably my favorite thing in this book as I was reading, ended up being the usage of Native American mysticism and culture to bring home the power of belief to make things change.  Also, I really loved the way Gibson portrayed the Native American people in this novel (Violet is actually the product of a half N.A. mother and a white father).  She doesn't ignore the racism and demeaning cultural attitudes of the time period, but still manages to make the characters rich and very developed.  They are never just convenient stereotypes.  There is also some beautiful imagery to do with the beaches, the Hotel that draws in the tourists every summer and the general natural beauties of Michigan.  The biggest complaint on my part would probably be the lack of personal change of Violet's part.  She spends the whole summer apprenticed to a famous lady photographer, trying to make wishes on a magical artifact and trying to retrieve the hand once it's been stolen.  Not to mention her issues with her father and her Aunt, who wants to make Violet into something she's not (and doesn't want to be) - a proper young lady.  Yet for all the heartache and trouble that the hand and her naievte bring into her life, Violet never seems to change all that much during the ensuing drama and tragedy.  Even the aftermath doesn't seem to affect her all that much.  I did appreciate the unresolved nature of the situation with Violet's Mom.  I liked that things were nowhere near as simple as she had made them, and that Violet and her Dad went in search of her Mom, instead of just taking the easy out, and having her return.  Overall, it's a very well written, historical fiction novel worth reading if you like a good mystical mystery.  I just feel like it belongs more in the middle grade catergorization than in the YA pool of novels.

VERDICT:  3/5  Stars

*I received this book as part of Around the World ARC Tours, run by the lovely Princess Bookie.  No favors or money were exchanged for this review.  This book's expected publication date is July 1st, 2014.*

Canon or Non-Canon?

Published:  September 10th, 2013

Fangirl

By: Rainbow Rowell

St. Martin's Press

ISBN-13:  9781250030955

Cath is a Simon Snow fan.

Okay, the whole world is a Simon Snow fan... But for Cath, being a fan is her life -- and she's really good at it.  She and her twin, Wren, ensconced themselves in the Simon Snow series when they were just kids; it's what got them through their mother leaving.

Reading.  Rereading.  Hanging out in Simon Snow forums, writing Simon Snow fan fiction, dressing up like the characters for every movie premiere.

Cath's sister has mostly grown away from the fandom, but Cath can't let go.  She doesn't want to.

Now that they're going to college, Wren has told Cath she doesn't want to be roommates.  Cath is on her own, completely outside of her comfort zone.  She's got a surly roommate with a charming, always-around boyfriend, a fiction-writing professor who believes fan fiction is the end of the civilized world, a handsome classmate who only wants to talk about words... And she can't stop worrying about her Dad, who's loving and fragile and has never really been alone.

For Cath, the question is: Can she do this?  Can she make it without Wren holding her hand?  Is she ready to start living her own life?  And does she even want to move on if it means leaving Simon Snow behind?

Review

     Cath is a difficult character to read about.  If there's one thing that Rainbow Rowell does more memorably than anything else, it's writing characters who are beyond everything else, realistic.  Cath, for example is awkward, antisocial, set in her ways and would rather live in her fandoms on the internet than in real life.  Cath isn't ready for anything to change and panics when her twin sister Wren doesn't want to be college roommates.  Cath just wants to stay in her room, avoid the cafeteria by existing on granola/protein bars, and not make any new friends.  Slowly though, her abrasive and stubborn roommate Reagan takes Cath under her wing, refusing to let her fade into the background.  Cath loves her fiction class as well, but the professor doesn't believe in the validity of fan fiction, which is a major part of who Cath happens to be.  Can Cath let go of the comfort of Simon Snow, boy wizard, and find a place for herself in the real world?  And how can she bring Wren and Dad into this new life she's building, without destroying everything?

     Like I said before Cath is difficult to read about.  She's sarcastic, yet shy and insecure to the point of almost being a hermit.  I understand wanting to shut yourself away from the world and I'm as guilty of it as anyone else.  Only, my hiding place of choice was the library instead of my bedroom.  I can empathize with Cath's inability to know what to say, or do in a social situation.  Also, coming from a home life that is less than perfect, in which problems are largely ignored instead of being dealt with.  But Cath begins to come into her own with the help of Reagan and her strange, but charming friend Levi.  We also get to see just how far Wren has distanced herself from the situation in the other direction - doing things to draw attention to herself that are potentially harmful to herself and people around her (but mostly just herself).  She wants to be the life of the party, but what price will she pay for it?  Plus, there's Cath's writing "partner" Nick, who isn't what he first appears to be.  I was highly impressed with the so-called secondary characters, who all add something important to the plot and move the story along.  The relationship with her Dad is especially hilarious, touching and truthful.  I love the interactions between them when Cath brings her boy home and also when Cath and her Dad stage an intervention on her sister.

      A really big part of this book is about being geeky, letting your freak flag fly and still knowing how to get back to reality at the end of the day.  Cath's big obsession is Simon Snow, who is her world's equivalent of Harry Potter (Except the book awkwardly mentions Potter as if they coexist.  I choose to ignore this!).  Cath is still waiting for the eighth book to come out, but has basically begun writing her own AU (alternate universe) version of it online, in her fan fiction community.  "Carry On Simon" has become such a huge thing in the fandom that people are wearing t-shirts and Cath is getting thousands of views a day!  I love the respect with which Rainbow treats fan fiction in this book.  I feel like she gets that there's nothing wrong with sharing your imagination with others for fun (and free) even if it involves someone else's worlds.  But she also knows that there's a fine line between having some geeky fun, and being unheathily obsessed.  We also see a glimpse of the idea that fan fiction might be squelching Cath's desire to write original stuff, or even her ability to do it.  My biggest disappointment in this was Cath not even attempting to make up her assignment for her fiction Professor.  It felt like she just completely gave up.  Also, I wanted to know what happened to Simon and Baz!  But mostly, this is a novel that is a tale of self discovery, a family's journey to something better (if not perfect) and a story of first love in all it's unpredictability and tenderness.  If you've read Rainbow Rowell before, her first and last name are the only two word of this review even necessary to you.  If not, seek her out.  Fangirl is wonderful, and just wait until you discover Eleanor and Park!

VERDICT:  4.5/5 Stars

**No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book is now available in stores, online, or maybe even at your local library.**

I'll Have You For Me

Expected Publication:  February 18th, 2014

Maybe One Day

By: Melissa Kantor

Harper Teen

ISBN-13:  9780062279200

Zoe and her best friend, Olivia, have always had big plans for the future, none of which included Olivia getting sick.  Still, Zoe is determined to put on a brave face and be positive for her friend.

Even when she isn't sure what to say.

Even when Olivia misses months of school.

Even when Zoe starts falling for Calvin, Olivia's crush

The one thing that keeps Zoe moving forward is knowing that Olivia will beat this, and everything will go back to the way it was before.  It has to.  Because the alternative is too terrifying for her to even imagine.

Review

     Zoe and Olivia have been best friends their entire lives.  They planned to be famous dancers, someday, together.  When that dream went up in smoke and they get kicked out of ballet school, the girls are just focused on being normal high school students together.  All Zoe wants is to find a purpose again and completely forget she ever knew how to dance, because it breaks her heart to think about it.  Neither girl is even contemplating the worst when it happens.  Olivia has been diagnosed with cancer, a form that has a really low survival rate.  Now the girls will go through months of treatment and terror, trying to keep hope alive that Olivia won't lose her fight.  But when Zoe starts keeping secrets, it might not be cancer that ruins their friendship.  Can Olivia and Zoe make it through this, or will they be forced to say one last goodbye?

     This book is narrated from Zoe's point of view, and at the beginning her thoughts mostly revolve around figuring out where she stands now that she can't be a dancer anymore.  She loves Olivia, but feels like she was more affected by the loss than Liv was - especially since Liv is still teaching a ballet class for underprivileged little kids.  Also, Zoe kind of hates the guy her friend is crushing on, Calvin, because he seems to think he's so awesome.  But then Zoe's thoughts jump to something else.  She starts thinking of what the world might be like without Olivia in it, after Liv is diagnosed with cancer.  I loved that this book looks at a deep friendship between the girls, who are really more like sisters, rather than focusing on a romance like most books about terminal illness do.  I almost didn't want to read this book, because I thought it was going to be yet another book involving a friend cheating with another friend's boyfriend, behind their back.  SO SICK OF CHEATERS IN YA BOOKS.  I was pleasantly surprised when this wasn't one of those books!

     It was truly difficult to watch the way Olivia's illness affected her family, especially the way it ate away at her Mom.  It seemed like a pretty realistic portrayal of the devastation of an ordinary family.  For awhile it seems like Zoe is in self-destruct mode, on the verge of doing something truly reckless because of how upset and alone she feels.  But thankfully, Calvin stops her from doing something she might regret.  We do get to see her build a friendship with Calvin, bit by bit and unwillingly at first.  She mostly is around him because he's best friends with Liv's older brother.  Therefore he's at the hospital almost as much as Zoe is.  But soon enough, she starts to realize just how much she misjudged Calvin as a popular player.  The interactions between Zoe and the kids in Liv's ballet class were realistic as well.  I liked that she wasn't miraculously the best teacher ever and it took her quite some time to connect with the kids at all.  Zoe botches things pretty badly at first, barely managing to smooth them over in the end.  But my favorite thing all in all, was the sense of humor Liv and Zoe maintained with each other, throughout the book.  My favorite quip was when the doctor was explaining the cancer to Zoe (per Liv's request) and tells her it is most common in men ages 65+.  The girls joke around about how Liv has old man cancer, and it's so embarrassing!  It made me laugh out loud! :D  Overall, this one is a beautiful look at lifelong friendship and the triumph of love over illness, even if that doesn't mean it defeats death.  I highly recommend this one.

VERDICT:  4/5  Stars

*I received this book as part of Around the World ARC Tours, run by the lovely Princess Bookie.  No favors or money were exchanged for this review.  This book's expected publication date is February 18th, 2014.*

Merch Girl Tour - Review, Excerpt and Giveaway!!!

Title: Merch Girl

Author: Rebecca Lewis

Date of Publication: May 1, 2013

Genre: Contemporary YA romance; Music

Blurb:

Seventeen-year-old Lacey Kind doesn’t have the guts to talk to cute boys, isn’t a size two, and would rather stay home and listen to music than go to a party. But in the summer before her first year of college, she ends up thousands of miles away from home, in the back of a tour bus, underneath the half-naked body of the hottest teen rock star in the country.

When Lacey and her best friend Trina sneak into a Boston nightclub to see their favorite band, they not only get to watch their rock gods perform for the first time, but score a chance to meet the band too. Lacey’s heart races as she comes face-to-face with her idol, nineteen-year-old lead singer, Logan Shire.

The girls charm their way into being hired to sell merchandise on Lansdowne’s first summer tour. As “merch girls” Lacey and Trina quickly find themselves transported from their ordinary, suburban life to an exhilarating few months on the road. But they soon realize that life on the road isn’t always a smooth ride...

Goodreads link: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17703969-merch-girl

Purchase links: Amazon | B&N | Smashwords | Kobo | iBooks

About Rebecca Lewis

Rebecca Lewis is the author of the Young Adult novel, Merch Girl, and a lover of all things music! She's been writing stories since middle school and penned her first fanfic about a semi-popular boyband in 1997. Her passion for music and writing brought her to Boston University, where she graduated with a Bachelor of Science from the College of Communication. During her college career, she interned for various record labels in Boston and New York City, sold merch for local bands, worked at record stores, and did a whole lot of grassroots marketing. She currently resides in Florida with her husband and puppy.

Blog: http://rebeccajlewis.wordpress.com/

Twitter: http://twitter.com/Rebecca_Writes

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Rebecca-Lewis-Author/408824785861600

Goodreads: http://www.goodreads.com/RebeccaLewis

Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/rebeccalauthor

Excerpt

I rubbed my hand soothingly against my throbbing forehead. I’d never experienced a hangover before, but I guessed this was what it felt like. I opened my eyes slowly and saw the low ceiling above me  and the curtain hanging by my side. Strange, I had no recollection of getting into a bunk. I cautiously pulled the curtain back and poked my head out to find an empty hallway. I maneuvered my way out of the bunk and realized I was only wearing Logan’s t-shirt and my underwear. His soft cotton tee felt nice against my skin, and still smelled like him. I breathed in the scent, which brought a rush of memories from last night back into my mind. Good memories, really, really good memories. 

Review

     I absolutely love reading anything to do with music, rock stars or the entertainment industry.  I'm actually a bit of a freak about it sometimes, to be quite honest!  So I was pretty excited to read another book about regular girls touring with their favorite rock band (it didn't hurt that this is the first one I've seen from the merch girl angle of things).  Do we ever really think of the people behind the merch tables when we're at venues, big or small?  If you're honest with yourself, the answer is not really - bordering on never.  Lacey and Trina are BFFs who just graduated high school and are ready to spend their last summer together before college.  Lacey is quiet, shy and unsure of herself.  Trina is boisterous, brimming with confidence and never shy about leading the charge on anything.  When they get the unforseen opportunity to meet up and coming band Lansdowne (their favorite, over which they're complete fangirls) things spiral from there.  The girls end up becoming friends with the guys and getting hired to be merch girls on their first tour.  With sparks flying between Griffin and Trina & Lacey and Logan, the summer is heating up.  But can secrets on the part of the girls and the guys, plus scheming from mean girl Jenna stop things before they even start?

     Maybe it's just because I've never really been a crazy, balls to the wall fan of any particular band in my life.  I kind of missed the window for boy band crazy, fangirl shenanigans by being too young during the NKOTB, Backstreet Boys, and N'Sync era.  And I'm not really into the newer boy bands, like One Direction.  I was kind of in-between.  Yes, I had posters on my wall.  But I didn't go to concerts, cry, scream and overall lose my mind over my favorite bands.  That said, Lacey and Trina are better characterized better than your average, screaming fangirls from the crowd.  We get to see into their brains and learn that they really do like the guys for who they are.  Also, though the relationships are a little too I love him just-because, instalove for my taste I appreciated the tumult of both relationships.  Neither of them was perfect and we are constantly reminded that all of them are just immature teens/twenty-somethings, who are still finding their way.  I don't want to give any real spoilers, so all I will say is that there were a couple of twists involving Trina & Gabe's relationship and Lacey's interactions with fangirl Devin that were unexpected.  Overall, a cute fluffy and slightly angsty rock 'n roll romance, definitely more suited for actual teenagers (or more naieve/less jaded adults).  I could barely suspend my disbelief sometimes.  A fun romp, but I am definitely NOT the target audience.  

VERDICT:  3/5 Stars

*I received an ARC from the author and tour host for the purpose of this blog tour. No money or favors were exchanged for this review. This book was published May 1st, 2013.*

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Show Me What I'm Looking For

Expected Publication: April 1st, 2014

Love Letters To The Dead

By: Ava Dellaira

Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)

ISBN-13: 9780374346676

It begins as an assignment for English class: write a letter to a dead person.  Laurel chooses Kurt Cobain because her sister, May, loved him.  And he died young, just like May did.  Soon Laurel has a notebook full of letters to people like Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Amelia Earhart, Heath Ledger and more; though she never gives a single one of them to her teacher.  She writes about starting high school, navigating new friendships, falling in love for the first time, learning to live with her splintered family.  And finally about the abuse she suffered when May was supposed to be looking out for her.  Only then, once Laurel has written down the truth about what happened to herself, can she truly begin to accept what happened to May.  And only when Laurel has begun to see her sister as the person she was; lovely and amazing and deeply flawed; can she begin to discover her own path.

Review

     This book was a bit of an odd duck for me as a reader.  I loved the premise: letters to famous dead people, to help work through her personal pain?  It was an interesting concept and I loved seeing who Laurel would choose to write to next!  Probably my largest issue with the book was the style of the narrative.  A lot of books can do well as epistolary style novels.  I have a series by Jaclyn Moriarty that I truly love and find almost perfect.  This one did something that is against one of my cardinal rules though: it did a lot of telling, in place of showing.  I found myself disconnected from the book, even though we spend most of the narrative inside Laurel's head, because it has a dreamy and odd quality to it.  The majority of my time was spent reading about Laurel's interactions with people and I didn't get to see a lot of them.  There was enough dialogue and interaction to keep me reading, but it was still kind of scarce.

     We spend this book getting to know Laurel, whose sister May has just died recently.  She is now being shuffled between her Aunt Amy and her Dad, because her Mom has gone to California and left her behind.  So Laurel spends her Mom's weeks of custody with her Aunt, who is extremely religious and really has no clue how to handle a teenager.  Starting her first year of high school, Laurel decides to go to another school, so she won't just be the girl whose sister died.  She makes a couple new friends, Hannah and Natalie, who are just as confused as she is.  They are falling in love with each other, but hiding it and Hannah is going from boy to boy in an effort to be "normal."  Also, there is the mysterious older boy Sky who seems to be interested in Laurel but has serious issues of his own.  There is a secret Laurel is keeping and it's eating her up inside.  Can she learn to let the past go and share her problems with someone who can help her move past them?  Or will she go on a downward spiral like May, unable to get back up again?

     I did enjoy the letters in and of themselves, but I agree with another read about some things that bothered them in regards to the letters.  The fact that they were all written to different people did take away from how personal the letters felt to me.  To know all that stuff about all those people and choose to write letters to all of them just felt fake.  Plus the comparisons drawn between them and Laurel didn't ring true for me either.  They turn into Laurel questioning the celebrity's choices for the majority of the letter, rather than examining her own life all that closely.  It was a little disruptive to the flow of the novel.  Overall, I can't say I really enjoyed it necessarily, but I did appreciate the things it accomplished in terms of character development.  It was really all about Laurel learning to become her own person and step out of May's shadow - also to forgive May, their parents and herself for the issues of the past.  I just don't think it was really the book for me, as it read a little too young, naieve and disconnected.

VERDICT:  3/5  Stars

*I received an Advanced Reading E-book Copy from the publisher, Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR), via NetGalley.  No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book's expected publication date is April 1st, 2014.*

Strangers Searching In the Night

Published:  July 30th, 2013

The Boy on the Bridge

By: Natalie Standiford

Scholastic Press

ISBN-13:  9780545334815

Laura Reid goes to Leningrad for a semester abroad as Cold War paranoia is peaking in 1982.  She meets a young Russian artists named Alexei and soon, with Alexei as her guide, Laura immerses herself in the real Russia -- a crazy world of wild parties, black-market books and music, and smuggled letters to dissidents.  She must keep the relationship secret; associating with Americans is dangerous for Alexei, and if caught, Laura could be sent home and Alexei be put under surveillance or worse.  At the same time, she's been warned that Soviets often latch onto Americans in hopes of marrying them and thus escaping to the United States.  But she knows Alexei loves her.  Right?

As June approaches -- when Laura must return to the United States -- Alexei asks Laura to marry him.  She's only nineteen and doesn't think she's ready to settle down.  But what if Alexei is the love of her life?  If she has a chance to change his life, to rescue him from misery, shouldn't she take it?

Review

     Probably the biggest pitfalls of this book were its short length - a mere 256 pages - and it's very underdeveloped characters (which it probably owes in huge part to the short length of time to tell the story).  Laura Reid is just an average college student, except for the fact that she is a major in Russian studies in a time when relations between the U.S. and Russia are very tense.  Laura is not really wanting to do anything other than maybe make a couple of new friends, learn to speak Russian better and go home with a little more culture.  What she gets instead is rescued by a poor, young Russian artists named Alyosha.  She is immediately drawn to him and pretty soon they're falling in love.  Against the advice of her fellow students, and her own better judgement Laura plans to marry Alyosha and move him to America when she goes home.  But is he really in love with Laura, or is she just Alyosha's ticket to a new life in America?

     The main character in this novel with the most development isn't Laura or Alyosha - it's communist Russia.  We get an insider's look into what it really meant to be in Russia as an American student in the early 1980s.  Us readers are treated to the stark class differences, the government's encroachment into personal privacy (i.e. their constant spying on their citizens), grocery stores with nothing in stock to feed the people, and an intense desire for any hint of the "rich" American culture/consumerism.  We also get some of Russia's actual history, with Standiford managing to give us all this and not have it become an obnoxiously boring textbook.  This is basically my favorite aspect of this book.

     My least favorite aspect was the "romance" between Alyosha and Laura.  They start out with what seems like an intense connection to each other.  But after Laura's conversations with her fellow students and advisors about Russians marrying U.S. citizens for a ticket to America, Alyosha's actions started to read a little differently to me.  Was he actually proposing to her because he loved Laura?  Was he just slightly too pushy with their romance and it's desired outcome?  The answer is both yes and no.  Laura spends the majority of the book sinking deeper into obsession/love with Alyosha and even going as far as to practically flunk the program she's in and start to plan a secret wedding.  Her head seemed like it was stuck in the freaking sand.  She never even considered the possibility that Alyosha was using her.  They barely know each other, yet she's ready to marry him and take him home as a college sophmore (freshman? can't recall), with no means of support.  He can barely speak the language.  Laura has the reasoning of a nine year old: it'll work out because she says it will and they want it too.  Okay, sure; cause that's totally how real life works!       The ending is pretty ambiguous and it leaves the reader to make up their own mind about Alyosha's true intentions.  Well written and it made me truly uncomfortable, but the characters felt so flat I just can't give it any more stars than 3 (just not enough meat to it for my satisfaction).    An interesting snapshot of communist Russia (verging on it's change of goverment) from an American perspective.  But not a good romance by any means at all.

VERDICT:  3/5 Stars

*I received an Advanced Reading E-book Copy from the publisher, Scholastic Press, via NetGalley.  No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book was published July 30th, 2013.*

Discovering Myself In a Book

 

Published:  June 1st, 2009

Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading

By: Lizzie Skurnick

Avon Books

ISBN-13:  9780061756351

 

Some people are baffled by re-reading.  What's the point?  There's so much else to read.  With these essays, Lizzie Skurnick has answered those questions.  It's as if a kindly psychiatrist suddenly appeared with a missing sheaf of brain scans.  Does the mere mention of a mink-trimmed coat make you secretly swoon, even though you are rabidly anti-fur?  You have a 'Little Princess' complex.  Do you long to cover your enemies with leeches?  You're having a 'Little House' flashback...  So stretch out on Dr. Lizzie's couch and find out why you think it would be kind of cozy to locked up in an attic with your brother.  Or learn to dissect the subtle class consciousness of Judy Blume's New Jersey.  Ponder the way that Lois Duncan's characters come into unexpected powers, natural and supernatural alike, as they enter adolescence.

 

And most of all, enjoy.

 

Review

 

     In my experience there a couple different types of people.  Those who grow up to be jaded and can no longer find lasting value in anything they deem as 'childish' or too young - and those who return to the comfort and value that they found in those childish things, reveling in reliving it.  Books are not to be excluded from this very un-academic theory of someone with no real data to back it up.  I am the type of person who still reads 'children's' books and loves them, many a time far better than the ones written for so called adults!  I spend most of my summer re-reading Tuck Everlasting, Bridge to Terabithia, A Wrinkle In Time, and Anne of Green Gables on a blanket in the park.  These are the books that have stuck with me my entire life.  I have been reading and re-reading Anne of Green Gables consistently since I was 8 years old.  That is almost sixteen years of my life!  So I definitely find value in these books.  They taught me things as a child and they also can have such a great beauty to them as well, with a depth of writing that might surprise and astonish many nay-saying, snobbish adults who find themselves too 'mature' for them.  So when I found out about Lizzie Skurnick's book of essays about her childhood reads, I knew it was right up my alley.  However, I am also the girl who read Young Adult Literature: From Romance to Realism by Michael Cart FOR FUN!!!  This is an analytical book one of my friend's had to read in classes for her Masters Degree in Library Science!  I am not your average animal my friends.

     I enjoyed myself immensely!  I really liked reading Skurnick's reviews about the books that I had read as a child, young teen and adult.  I also garnered some titles to check out from the library and read for myself (that I somehow missed while I was devouring my school and public libraries as a child - I was and am a book zombie.  Books instead of brains!) that I have never read before.  It was extremely interesting to see Lizzie's insights into some of her childhood favorites, now that she's an adult.  I especially enjoyed the sometimes snarky nature of the book reports.  Nothing is favored by me more in reviews than honesty and a good sense of humor! 

     Sometimes the book did have a feeling of being disjointed, probably due to it's initial incarnation as a column on the website Jezebel.  I did like the fact that all the essays were indexed by theme and sectioned off.  I could easily flip to whichever essay I preferred to read.  Skurnick covers such classics as Jacob Have I Loved, Blubber, A Wrinkle In Time, Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, Harriet the Spy, Island of the Blue Dolphins, Stranger With My Face, Go Ask Alice, and many more!  If you enjoy this sort of book and want a walk down memory lane, I highly recommend reading it! :)  It was a nice change of pace, although I would have liked more in-depth analysis to go with the plot summaries.  I leave you only with my happy nostalgia fuzz and this quote from a constant re-read of my own:

 

“The first week of August hangs at the very top of the summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of a Ferris wheel when it pauses in its turning. The weeks that come before are only a climb from balmy spring, and those that follow a drop to the chill of autumn, but the first week of August is motionless, and hot. It is curiously silent, too, with blank white dawns and glaring noons, and sunsets smeared with too much color. Often at night there is lightning, but it quivers all alone. There is no thunder, no relieving rain. These are strange and breathless days, the dog days, when people are led to do things they are sure to be sorry for after.”

Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting

 

VERDICT:  4/5  Stars

 

**No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book is now available in stores, online, or maybe even at your local library.**