Princesses Can Save the Prince Too!

Published:  December 17th, 2008

The Stepsister Scheme (Princess #1)

By: Jim C. Hines

DAW

ISBN-13:  9780756405328

You know how all those old fairy tales take you through lots of scary adventures till you finally reach that inevitable line: "And they lived happily ever after..."  Guess what?  It's not true.  Life in never-never land isn't all sweetness and light.  Cinderella - whose real name is Danielle Whiteshore (nee Danielle de Glas) - does marry Prince Armand.  And (if you can ignore the pidgeon incident) their wedding is a dream-come-true.

But not long after the "happily ever after," Danielle is attacked by her stepsister Charlotte, who suddenly has all sorts of magic to call upon.  And though Talia - otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty - comes to the rescue (she's a martial arts master, and all those fairy blessings make her almost unbeatable), Charlotte gets away.

That's when Danielle discovers a number of disturbing facts: Armand has been kidnapped and taken to the realm of the Fairies; Danielle is pregnant with his child; and the Queen has her very own Secret Service that consists of Talia and Snow (White, of course).  Snow is an expert at mirror magic and heavy-duty flirting.

Can three princesses track down Armand and extract both the prince and themselves from the clutches of some of fantasyland's most nefarious villains?

Review

     I am a fairy tale obsessed, freak!  I love retellings of fairy tales - modern ones, retro ones, historical fiction, christian fiction, disneyfied ones, humorous ones, etc.  Doesn't really matter what exactly it is, I am bound to be attracted to it, if not drawn in completely.  The cover on this book looks a bit like Charlie's Angels crossed with Brothers Grimm, so color me intrigued.  I was told by a couple of my online friends to read it, even if just to get to the second one (which they said is better).  So I decided to give it a go and see what would happen.  Is starts focused on Danielle de Glas (aka Cinderella), who has married the Prince and now has to learn to become a Princess.  She still can't help her instinct to befriend all the servants and clean the palace around her though; but she loves her husband, Armand, and is willing to make some changes to be what he needs.  Imagine her surprise when her stepsister Charlotte tries to kill her seemingly out of the blue, using magic she's never had before.  Danielle is saved from assassination by Queen Bea's secret protector - Talia, otherwise known as Sleeping Beauty.  It turns out she and Snow White work for Bea, and help her keep the kingdom and its royals safe from threats.  But when they find out Armand has been kidnapped by Charlotte and her sister, it's up to Danielle to rescue him - with the help of Talia and Snow she might even succeed.  However, what will the cost be to retrieving Prince Armand from the danger he's in?

     I enjoyed this one a lot.  At first it feels pretty slow moving (even with an assassination attempt), but once Talia, Danielle and Snow finally hit the road, the plot picks up its pace pretty quickly.  Probably my favorite thing about this book is that it uses the darker and older versions of the fairy tales that a lot of people only know from the Disney versions, for the back stories of the characters.  Talia's in particular is a real doozy and definitely gives a great basis for her inability to connect emotionally to other people and fondness for solving difficult situations with violent means.  Also, the fact that Snow herself worked with mirrors for magical purposes (a la the Evil Queen) was interesting and not something I've ever seen done before in a retelling or reworking of Snow White's story.  The lack of Prince Armand was both disappointing and refreshing.  So wonderful to see a fantasy/fairy tale book NOT laser-focused on the romance, but considering that Danielle is going to great lengths to save him, it would have been nice to get some more insight into her relationship with Armand (especially considering how little time they've actually known each other when you consider their relationship as a whole).

     The entire novel, while revolving around an assassination plot, still managed to feel like it was moving at molasses speed.  But when it hit Fairytown, shit really started to hit the fan!  I enjoyed them trying to find an ally and since by this point Danielle knows she's pregnant, the whole thing with every fairy asking for the baby in exchange for the help was hilarious!  Such a stereotypically fairy tale thing to do!  I also really was impressed at how much motivation and character development Hines managed to work in for the Stepsisters (Charlotte and Stacia) who are usually just cardboard cutout villains in any adaptation of Cinderella that's published/filmed.  The rescue of Armand and the imprisonment of Danielle are both full of very dark scenes and somewhat disturbing.  Especially when we're unsure whether or not the baby is going to come away from the ordeal unscathed.  The one complaint (as others have said) that I really can think of besides slowness, is the one dimensionality of Talia and Sleeping Beauty as characters.  But by the end of the novel, we've gotten closer to understanding what makes them tick.  Also, I have read the second book in the time before I started writing this review and it definitely gives us more meat to those two characters.  Overall, I had a swell time trying to figure out where Hines was taking this and I think I'm along for the whole ride.

VERDICT:  4/5  Stars

**No money or favors were exchanged for this review.  This book is now available in stores, online, or maybe even at your local library.**

Will You Be The Next Wife Of The Dude Who's Not Henry VIII?

Expected Publication: March 12th, 2013

Strands of Bronze and Gold (Strands of Bronze and Gold # 1)

By: Jane Nickerson

Random House Children's Books

ISBN-13: 9780307975980

The Bluebeard fairy tale retold. . . .

When seventeen-year-old Sophia Petheram’s beloved father dies, she receives an unexpected letter. An invitation—on fine ivory paper, in bold black handwriting—from the mysterious Monsieur Bernard de Cressac, her godfather. With no money and fewer options, Sophie accepts, leaving her humble childhood home for the astonishingly lavish Wyndriven Abbey, in the heart of Mississippi.

Sophie has always longed for a comfortable life, and she finds herself both attracted to and shocked by the charm and easy manners of her overgenerous guardian. But as she begins to piece together the mystery of his past, it’s as if, thread by thread, a silken net is tightening around her. And as she gathers stories and catches whispers of his former wives—all with hair as red as her own—in the forgotten corners of the abbey, Sophie knows she’s trapped in the passion and danger of de Cressac’s intoxicating world.

Review

     Sophia Petheram's beloved Father has just died, leaving her and her siblings on the verge of destitution.  She receives an invitation to live with her mysterious Godfather, Bernard de Cressac, who lives in splendor on a plantation in Mississippi.  Once she's there, Sophie is enchanted by the beautiful gifts, and undivided attention that she receives.  But there are dark mysteries at the plantation as well, such as what really happened to Bernard's five dead wives.  And why is the ruined chapel kept locked, with no one allowed to enter into it?  Not too soon after arriving, Sophie realizes that Bernard is practically holding her prisoner, not allowing her out of the house to meet anyone but the servants, and holding back letters from her when it suits him to do so.  Almost overnight Bernard's demeanor changes to that of a jealous lover and Sophie is left to wonder if she will ever make it home again.  Will she be the next to die?  Never having read the original story of Bluebeard, this is the second retelling that I have put my hands and eyes upon.  I liked Sophie's snarky, yet sweet personality.  Her curious nature endeared her to me, because she refused to just blindly accept whatever Bernard told her and what everyone else wanted her to do.  The gradual descent into total isolation, dependence and abusive behavior is chilling in  just how believable it is written.  The depiction of the slaves and the treatment of them is unfortunate, but more than likely true in most cases of 19th century slavery.  Sophie's attitudes were great, but I echo similar sentiments to other readers that sometimes the slaves just seemed like plot devices and extra bodies for Sophie to meet/converse with.  Her relationship with the Reverend was intriguing and the developing of feelings for him was sweet and very old fashioned - in other words, tonally perfect for the novel.  The climax of the novel chilled my blood and was definitely gruesome enough to fit what little I know of the original tale.    One of my few complaints is the clinical nature the last few pages of the book took on, kind of 'where are they now' type of thing to try and tie up loose ends.  Overall, an interesting retelling and definitely one of the better offerings of recent YA fairy tale re-tellings.

VERDICT:  3.5/5  Stars

*I received an Advanced Reading E-book Copy from the publisher, via NetGalley. No money or favors were exchanged for this review. This book's expected publication date is March 12th, 2013.*

You're Not MY Snow White...

Published: December 11th, 2012
Snow Whyte and the Queen of Mayhem
By: Melissa Lemon
Cedar Fort, Inc.
ISBN-13: 9781462111459

Stuck in her family's apple orchards, Kat's got plenty of work to do and only pesky Jeremy to help. But when Jeremy convinces her to run away, Kat will discover that nothing---and no one---in her life is quite what it seems. Wonderfully reimagined, this is the magical tale of Snow White as you've never read it before!

Review

     One thing that I hate more than ANYTHING is a misleading synopsis.  It's a good thing that I didn't read this one before I read the book, because it is totally misleading!  Katiyana is the Princess of Mayhem, but she has grown up in hiding at her Great-Uncle Barney's apple orchard, with no knowledge of her identity, or the fact that her Mother tried to have her killed before her Father saved her (and died in the process).  But Barney went blind when Kat became a teenager and with that blindness came anger, alcohol and violence.  Now the only person that Kat can rely on is the hired hand, Jeremy Simkins, who is rejected by everyone but her because of his family name.  When he convinces her to run away until he can marry her, Kat is taken in by seven dwarves, who come to love her.  But the Queen's magic mirror (which has a real person trapped inside) slips up and the Queen learns Kat is alive.  Will he be able to find a way to warn Kat of the Queen's evil plan to get rid of her once and for all?  And is the assassin sent by the Queen really all that he seems?  This was definitely different from any other Snow White re-telling that I've personally read!  I did like that the story was told from the magic mirror's point of view, and his connection to Kat was an interesting turn.  But Lemon didn't use that device to the fullest.  The mirror never really describes anything for us, but just gives us the barest insights into Kat's feelings and actions.  It's annoying and somewhat boring to read basics.  One of my favorite characters was Pokole, the dwarf, but really even he was two-dimensional as a character.  The romance with Jeremy was flat and the almost romance with the assassin (who has a secret identity) was so barely there, it isn't even really worth acknowledging.  The ending has a few great plot twists and reveals, but I felt like the so-called 'battle' with the Queen was too anti-climactic and very disappointing.  Overall, the twists at the end are the only thing saving this book for me as a reader, at all.  One thing I will say, is that for such a mediocre book the cover is beautiful.

VERDICT:  2.25/5  Stars

*I received an Advanced Reading E-book Copy from the publisher, via NetGalley. No money or favors were exchanged for this review. This book was published on December 11th, 2012.*

Severed Fingers and Lukewarm Endings

Expected Publication: July 10th, 2012
Lies, Knives and Girls in Red Dresses
By: Ron Koertge, Illustrated by: Andrea Dezso
Candlewick Press
ISBN-13: 9780763644062


Writing in free verse honed to a wicked edge, the incomparable Ron Koertge brings dark and contemporary humor to twenty iconic fairy tales.

Once upon a time, there was a strung-out match girl who sold CDs to stoners. Twelve impetuous sisters escaped King Daddy's clutches to jiggle and cavort and wear out their shoes. A fickle Thumbelina searched for a tiny husband, leaving bodies in her wake. And Little Red Riding Hood confessed that she kind of wanted to know what it's like to be swallowed whole. From bloodied and blinded stepsisters (they were duped) to a chopped-off finger flying into a heroine's cleavage, this is fairy tale world turned upside down. Ron Koertge knows what really happened to all those wolves and maidens, ogres and orphans, kings and piglets, and he knows about the Ever After. So come closer
- he wants to whisper in your ear.

Review

   This book is a compilation of twisted versions and bonus point of views from well known fairy tales.  There are stories for Cinderella,  The Little Match Girl, Rapunzel, Thumbelina, Beauty and the Beast, Twelve Dancing Princesses, Hansel and Gretel, The Ugly Duckling, Diamonds and Toads, The Robber Bridegroom, East of the Sun and West of the Moon, and other very recognizable tales.  I did enjoy the dimension that these poems added to the original tales.  But my major complaint would be the stark, crudeness of the language and imagery that is used.  It felt like there was absolutely zero finesse woven into the story telling process.   I loved the illustrations and though their starkness matched the language of the poems, it lifted the quality of the book.  They had a unique, black and white silhouette, shadow puppet feel to them and it was the highlight of the time I spent with this book.  Overall, I was not that impressed and felt like it has been done so often and so much better, that I could have lived without this addition to the realm of twisted fairy tales.  Nothing new or exciting, but that said it was an interesting collection.  I would only really recommend this if you're a hardcore Koertge fan or way into fairy tale re-imaginings.  Even if you don't read the text you should definitely check out the illustrations though.  The cover for this book is as of yet unreleased, but when it is available I will change the blank picture on this review.

VERDICT:  3/5  Stars

*I received an Advanced Reading E-book Copy from the publisher, via NetGalley. No money was exchanged for this review. The expected publication of this book is July 10th, 2012.*