Bright and Fake Things...

Expected Publication:  January 6th, 2015

All the Bright Places

By: Jennifer Niven

Knopf

ISBN-13: 9780385755887

The Fault in Our Stars meets Eleanor & Park in this compelling, exhilarating, and beautiful story about a girl who learns to live from a boy who intends to die.

Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might kill himself.  But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him.

Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister's recent death.

When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it's unclear who saves whom.  And when they pair up on a project to discover the "natural wonders" of their state, both Violet and Finch make more important discoveries: It's only with Violet that Finch can be himself - a weird, funny, live-out-loud guy who's not such a freak after all.  And it's only with Finch that Violet can forget to count away the days and start living them.  But as Violet's world grows, Finch's begins to shrink.

Review

     Violet used to be a happy-go-lucky cheerleader, and all-around popular high school student, who ran a blog with her sister Eleanor.  She was involved in extracurricular activities and had the perfect boyfriend.  Then she was in a horrible car crash that took away her sister, and left her drowning in her grief.  Now, almost a year later, Eleanor is barely making it day by day.  So when the school weirdo, Finch, finds her up on the ledge of the bell tower and talks her down, Violet is kind of annoyed with him.  Finch begins inserting himself into her life, with his inability to understand the word "no" and his larger than life, quirky personality.  Partnered for a project on state "wonders," Violet begins to let her guard down and live life again.  But Finch, who is struggling with crippling depressive episodes, is sliding further down as Violet climbs her way upward.  Can they save each other, or will their story be unable to find a happy ending?

     I have superbly mixed feelings about this book.  On one hand, the portrayal of depression in the character and behaviors of Finch, was very realistic and I appreciated that the author didn't diminish his struggles and make everything get resolved magically at the end of the book.  On the other hand, Finch's quirky, variant personality was a little too "different."  It was a case of the author trying to hard to make him interesting, unpredictable and relatable.  If I want to care about a character, he doesn't need to be so unique as to almost circle around again to Gary Stu status.  Violet was the opposite.  I really thought she was extremely dull, lifeless and just all-around two dimensional.  I understand that she's still grieving her sister, but it was like she was the personification of the color gray.  I liked the writing style and the literary quotes.  Some of the one-liners were awesome.  I just feel like this book spent so much time trying way too hard to be the next big thing, that it delved into cliche territory and overreached itself.  And the ending was believable, but at the same time, contrived to make the reader emotional and tearful.  I myself was emotionless and scoffing.  Overall a decent effort and definitely points for beautiful writing.  But really nothing all that memorable or special.

VERDICT:  2.5/5  Stars

*I received this book as part of Around the World ARC Tours, run by the lovely Princess Bookie.  No favors or money were exchanged for this review.  This book's expected publication date is January 6th, 2015.*

The One Where I Lay Myself (and my self-respect) On The Line

 

        So, this picture definitely represents how I've been feeling lately - like I'm pushing against things that no one else can see, or things that are impossible to move.  I don't think I've ever actually told any of my internet friends any of the things I'm about to tell you guys.  But as readers of this blog, I feel like I can be safe enough to lay myself on the line with you and be straight - I am someone who struggles with a disease called FIBROMYALGIA. 
     For those who don't know what Fibromyalgia is, here is the basic definition, courtesy of the Mayo Clinic's website:

FIBROMYALGIA:  Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.  Symptoms sometimes begin after a physical trauma, surgery, infection or significant psychological stress. In other cases, symptoms gradually accumulate over time with no single triggering event.

SYMPTOMS: 

1. Widespread pain.  The pain associated with fibromyalgia is often described as a constant, dull ache that has lasted for at least three months.  To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body, and above and below the waist.
2. Fatigue.  People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time.  Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients have other sleep disorders, like restless leg syndrome and sleep apnea.
3. Cognitive Difficulties:  Often referred to as fibro-fog.  Impairs ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.
4. Other Symptoms:  Depression, headaches, and pain or cramping in the lower abdomen.

 

 

        Personally, I was diagnosed six years ago at the age of eighteen.  Usually, I have more episodes during the winter and have to go to the hospital at least once to get drugged up just to be able to even sleep (generally my ankles ache so bad I am on the verge of tears an unable to do anything, especially sleep).  Lately though, with my forty hours a week at a crappy retail job, where I am on my feet CONSTANTLY, I have been taking two painkillers every day (Gabapentin is what works for me) just to be able to stay standing up without being in hospital grade pain.  It makes me slightly high, unfocused, hyper and magnifies the fibro-fog.  Not to mention how depressed I have been lately, and my financial situation is definitely not making things better.  I have begun "Waldening" (otherwise known as downsizing) my stuff, to make money and gain space.  I am on the verge of losing the house I have spent my entire life in.  I don't know what's going to happen to myself, my family or my animals.
    
        Books and escaping into different worlds are really the only things that make me smile anymore, or keep me going.  And my fibromyalgia is taking that away, with my inability to focus.  These are the reasons my blog has been sporadically updated over the last few months, along with some personal crises involving a family member being in the hospital for over a month.  I have been trying to find the light at the end of the tunnel.  It's not always easy, but I have to believe that things will get better.  This is my daily struggle, but I am kicking it's butt just by getting out of bed, going into work and living my life.  This is just something that I wanted you to know, as people that have been involved in my book life for about three years now.  I am pretty private generally and don't usually do many personal posts.  But if someone else out there is dealing with this too, maybe this post will say the most important thing it even could: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  And you are a survivor!  Separately we're just a drop in the ocean, but together we are formidable.

Ordinary People, Issues Included

Published:  January 1st, 1976
Ordinary People
By: Judith Guest
Viking Books
ISBN-13:  9780670528318

The Jarrets are a typical American family. Calvin is a determined, successful provider and Beth an organized, efficient wife. They had two sons, Conrad and Buck, but now they have one. In this memorable, moving novel, Judith Guest takes the reader into their lives to share their misunderstandings, pain...and ultimate healing.

Review

 

     A lot of people are depressed by this book.  I am not one of them and every time I re-read it (so far about six times!) it uplifts me and reminds me that nothing is ever quite so bad as I think it may be.  This book is about the Jarret family, Mom and Dad with their two sons.  When we meet them they only have one son left, Conrad, the younger son who has recently been released from a sanitarium after attempting suicide.  The book is mostly from Conrad's point of view, with some glimpses into his Father, Calvin's head.  The entire family is dealing with the loss of Con's brother Buck, but instead of bringing them together it's tearing them apart.  His Mother, Beth, is using every excuse to escape the situation with constant vacations and denial that anything is wrong.  One scene in particular at a friend's party, where Cal is slightly drunk and discusses Con's therapy, really makes her angry.  You don't share personal business with anyone but family, and even then you NEVER talk about it - that's her life motto.  Without perfection in her life anymore, Beth has no clue who to blame.  She becomes withdrawn and harsh when Cal tries to show any interest in Conrad, who is trying to piece his life back together in a way that makes him happy.  Which isn't necessarily the way his Mom wants things. Maybe Cal isn't as happy as he always thought either.  When he begins looking past the face value of the things in his life, the situation finally combusts.

     I loved this book.  It's an honest and hard look at the consequences of real-life tragedies and how they change people forever.  The family dynamic is extremely interesting, with Cal being the slightly hovering, interested parent and Beth seeming like she wishes Conrad would just disappear.  Conrad himself is messed up and after living his whole life in a house that kept repression and perfection as rulers (*cough* *Beth* *cough*) this is really the first time he has ever dealt with his emotions in an honest way.  As he works through the guilt, sadness and anger of Buck's death, as well as his twisted relationship with his Mom, we see him grow as a person and learn to let himself be happy.  Cal's transformation from clueless, middle-aged lawyer with the perfect wife and good son also is something to see.  He really starts to take off the rose colored glasses and feel what's going on in his life.  Dr. Berger, the not-so-crazy therapist that Con (and late Cal) go to see is what makes the book in my opinion.  His obvious contentment with life and it's ups/downs is the opposite of Cal and Con but it balances them out.  The ending of this book, reconnecting with the old while moving on with the new is beautiful.  One of my favorite books that I've read since becoming an adult.  Super glad that when I was nineteen the cover and synopsis intrigued me.  Overall and extremely well written novel, a character piece that is in the style of The Virgin Suicides or White Oleander.  It is something special that only comes around every so often.  I highly encourage anyone who hasn't read it to give it a shot!  You won't regret it! :)

 

VERDICT:  5/5  Stars

 

**No money or favors were exchanged for this review. This book is now available in stores, online, or maybe even at your local library.**

Standing With the Ghost Of You...

Published:  February 12th, 2013
Notes From Ghost Town
By: Kate Ellison
Egmont USA
ISBN-13:  9781606842645

They say first love never dies...

From critically acclaimed author Kate Ellison comes a heartbreaking mystery of mental illness, unspoken love, and murder. When sixteen-year-old artist Olivia Tithe is visited by the ghost of her first love, Lucas Stern, it’s only through scattered images and notes left behind that she can unravel the mystery of his death.

There’s a catch: Olivia has gone colorblind, and there’s a good chance she’s losing her mind completely—just like her mother did. How else to explain seeing (and falling in love all over again with) someone who isn’t really there?

With the murder trial looming just nine days away, Olivia must follow her heart to the truth, no matter how painful. It’s the only way she can save herself.

Review

 

     Olivia Tithe is back at home living with her Dad and his new girlfriend, waiting for her Mom's murder trial, and taking crazy chances out of desperation.  It all started the year before when she was visiting from art school in Michigan, and her friend Stern kissed her.  Unable to tell him how she felt, Olivia let him go, thinking she's have more chances.  But then she went colorblind and Stern was murdered - supposedly by her schizophrenic Mom, who is now awaiting trial in jail.  When the ghost of Stern starts visiting her and trying to tell Olivia that her Mom is innocent, she is afraid she's developing schizophrenia like her Mom.  Slowly she starts to believe that Stern really has returned, and that maybe there's a good chance that her Mom didn't kill him after all.  But if her Mom is innocent, who killed Stern and why would they frame her for it?  And with Olivia digging into the possibilities, this person will do anything to stop their secret from being uncovered.  Can she save her Mom from a horrible fate, help Stern move on, learn to let another boy into her heart and accept her new, imperfect family they way it is?

      Liv is a wonderful character with so much development that she blew my mind over the course of the book.  It pained me to see her on a path of self-destruction, but at the same time I was walking it so closely with her that I totally understood it from her perspective.  The interactions with Austin, the maybe, not-so-jackass rich boy and Stern, her dead first love are phenomenal.  My only complaint would be the tried and true plot twist used to explain why Austin suddenly expresses interest in Olivia.  I mean, really? There wasn't a more original idea waiting in the wings to even that bump out a little bit?  Olivia's Mom was Stern's piano teacher for most of their lives and he had been practicing for an audition at Julliard religiously.  But with Liv's Mom being schizophrenic and off of her meds, no one questions whether or not she really killed him.  I liked the deeper characterization of Liv's Dad and his new girlfriend Heather, who the author made believably likeable, instead of going the cliché, distant, soon to be step-wench route.  The journey to find a way to the truth of Stern's murder and the overlying plot with her colorblindness were so well woven that I found myself rooting for her to gain her sense of self back, even early on when I barely knew her.  The identity of the murderer was kept in pretty good suspense for most of the book, with some clues scattered throughout but I really didn't start putting it together until about halfway through.  Also, the resolution of the story with Olivia's Mom is pretty realistic and not happy-go-lucky like a lot of authors might have chosen.  Like I said previously, the unnecessary vilifying of Austin was the only thing that threw me off track and kind of made me pissed off by a reader.  Overall, this novel was a bittersweet, beautiful story of family, friendship, first love, coming of age and learning to let go of the past for the sake of the future.  I highly recommend this one to anyone who loves mysteries family-oriented stories and romance. 

 

VERDICT:  4.5/5  Stars

 

*I received an Advanced Reading E-book Copy from the publisher, via NetGalley. No money or favors were exchanged for this review. This book was published February 12th, 2013.*